What lies beneath
by Not A Monkey
Summary: It's not always laughter. It isn't always fun. Underneath, everything has changed.
1. Pain

**AN This is a new fanfic. It will be graphic. It will have stuff that could offend. Please don't read if stuff like that upsets you.**

**Discailmer- I own nothing at all.**

Chapter 1: Pain

Pain. That's how my life began. That's how it ends. Everything begins with pain and ends with it. Its there when you're born. There while you live. And it is always there when you die. The only answer to it's overwhelming thirst is itself. Pain answers pain. Always has.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Hermione Granger quietly snuck up the stairs to the girls dorms. All the girls in her dorm would be asleep by now and anyone else who had half a brain. Hermione wasn't one of them.

Silently she changed into her pajamas and slid into bed. In the morning Hermione knew she would regret staying up so late, but she couldn't do anything about it now. Sleep was so far away right now. Even further than it had been the night the before, and the night before that. Hermione sighed and grabbed for her wand.

"Lummox." She whispered and a tiny light appeared. Then she reached under her bed and got out her diary. As always she would entertain herself by depressing herself. Odd, but routine.

Opening it to the last page Hermione saw that it was full. Carefully she closed it and put it back, getting out a fresh one.

_Hullo again. I guess you could call this page the introduction to my life. I know its odd that every time I get a new one I write like this, but late at night I like to read over and see what a mess I've become and how much people care._

_I got a letter from my darling step-mother today. In it she told me that Andrew had told all. Since I got it at the breakfast table, I had to keep up my mask. All I really wanted to do was curl into a ball and cry. I don't ever have the luxury of doing that. Most people have, but I never have lowered myself to that for what seems like eons. I wish I could, but then I'd have to explain why._

_This summer I took myself off to summer school for the first two weeks. After that I went and stayed with Ron and Harry. I wonder if they will ever find out about what I do now. I also wonder what they would say._

_It's really weird that I of all people have been lying since I got here. My legs are aching lately, but I pretend to others it is the stairs._

_I keep seeing Andrew's face everywhere. I feel like he will pop up at any time, so I always am alert. Except when I'm with my favourite thing in the whole castle my bowline. I like to use it for herbs and to cut my skin. I don't care if it's against everything I was taught, I need it lately._

Hermione paused as Lavender stirred then sighing she turned off her wand and put down the diary. She could write more tomorrow.

Reaching out to bedside table, she grabbed her pills and downed them. Soon she felt the effect and sighed. Hermione's last thought was about what she would do once they ran out.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The next day she did regret her late night. Hermione had potions first, and felt like dozing off a few times. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw HIS face, and struggled to keep them open.

Class finished as the bell went. Harry and Ron got up with the rest of the class but Hermione's bag had fallen to pieces and broke. Sighing Hermione went down on her knees and began to pick it all up. Then there was a thud on the floor that made Hermione look up.

"While your down there Granger, pick up my homework as well." Draco Malfoy said.


	2. Oddity

Everything in life is a complete and utter oddity. I'm mean when I stumbled across a book on birthing I was of course shocked. The way we are born is odd. The way we live is odd. And many of the ways we die can be classified as odd as well. And nothing is normal at all. Oddness is the only thing left in this world. The only thing left is both good and bad oddness.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Hermione Granger scowled as she looked up at her favourite enemy, Draco Malfoy. Right now she didn't think the weight of his taunting would go down well with her over strung nerves.

"Fuck off Malfoy; I'm not playing your games today." She snarled and began standing up. He gave an evil smirk.

"You know what Granger?" He drawled. "I think you will dance to whatever tune I play. You don't understand the stakes yet." Draco was having the time of his life, watching that expression of anger spread until she shook with it. And this time he was safe in the knowledge that she would not say anything to Harry Potter and Ron Weasly. Her pathetic bodyguards.

"And what pray tell makes you think that Ferret?" Hermione sneered, ignoring the feeling of panic that threatened to overload her system. Draco Malfoy's smirk widened. Hermione got even madder.

"You couldn't make me do anything you wanted me to do, even with all that dirty pureblood money. Just because your father used to get people to do your work, doesn't mean it applies while he is locked up. You stupid spoiled Ferret." Hermione's fear factor rose when he didn't take offense, but widened that smirk.

"You'll regret all those comments Granger." Draco said coldly. Then he picked up a leather bound book. Hermione's eyes widened.

"Why pray tell, do you have _that?_" She asked.

"You would be amazed at what pops up when spells go wrong." Draco said gayily. "And what is left open for me to read. Shall I read it out Granger? Shall we share those nasty little scars you have with the world?" Hermione felt leg for their marks, feeling pain. She closed her eyes.

"What will take Malfoy?" She asked. Draco looked her up and down slowly.

"Do the homework by Friday Granger, and I will arrange a meeting later on in the week. Understood?" Draco said, and then considered just what he could do. His smirk grew when she nodded.

"Good girl. I'll see you later." And with that Draco Malfoy strolled out of the dungeon and left Hermione even lower than low.


	3. Hate

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, what a strange thing huh?**

**AN: Sorry it is soo short, I got very sidetracked and forgot what I meant to write, hmm…. and then it was down, well try and enjoy it while you can......**

Everyone has always told me love was what made the world go round. That love was wonderful. Every time I said something, the word love came up. Always, I was told. Always believe that love will win. They were fools

Hate is what really rules us all. Bitter emotions are the only way to make a world work. I hate people, and they hate me. Hate is the only thing worth talking about.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Hermione put her books upstairs and bolted to see Harry and Ron. When she first got there she thought that she would tell all, but then the lies from day one would come out. The lies Hermione had told herself and them would just fall away and leave her alone and hated. Hermione chose to keep quite instead.

It was late at night before Hermione even thought about it again. She knew sooner or later Draco Malfoy would tell, and then she would have to die.

Slowly and carefully Hermione made her way down the staircase and went to her sanctuary, the Library. Every book in there was hers, because she must own it. Hermione spent all her time there and Hermione had read all non-restricted books so far. It was hers by right.

Silently she went into the restricted area and picked up where she had left off. This was fascinating book, on pain. The very thing that held Hermione's life together. This particular spell was to make the person experience not only the physical pain, but all the emotional pain that had been with them from day one. Curious as a cat; Hermione whipped out her wand.

"Impankioe." She whispered and fell to the floor in agony.

Every last one of those painful memories flooded back. She saw her father, drunk and depressed, looming over in the dark night, screeching at her. Her step-mother, all the slaps and taunts throughout the years. Her loneliness he boarding schools. Her first cut. The scars bleeding. Night. Panting and grunting. The screams. The blood.

Slowly it all stopped and left Hermione crying. Her head hurt. Her legs hurt. Everything was on fire, but it was good. The pain told her that she had control. Hermione won.

Never in a million years did she ever cut for attention. Nor did she do it for death. It was only way she could live in this fantastical lie. Pain was the only thing that told her she wasn't what they said and that she was in fact, someone who had control. It helped heal the pain inside her.

The first time she had ever cut herself when she was thirteen. Her step-mother had made a nasty comment about her unshaved legs and Hermione had tried shaving.

While doing so she got distracted and the next thing she knew there was warm liquid flowing down her legs. Looking down Hermione saw that she was bleeding, and that it felt good.

The next few times were accidents as well, but soon it became a regular thing. Going back to Hogwarts was hell because of all the cuts on her legs, and all their stairs.

No one had guesses yet, and the only person who knew had decided to use it against her. Draco Malfoy. The one who she loathed the most and the one who hated the very thing that he held over her; her blood.

Hate was powerful thing, and Hermione knew best of all. She hated HIM, she hated her dead mother. She hated her father and step-mother. She also hated the fact that Malfoy had to find out. Hermione was well educated on Hate.

When she had opened her eyes, there was a gasp and very faint chuckle. The gasp came from their most favourite librarian.

The chuckle, Hermione tried to sit up and tried thinking of any excuse, any excuse. Her cuts were healed over and it was only the blood and tears that distressed the old librarian. No excuses came for once, and Hermione was left speechless, still not moving at all. All Hermione knew was that she was in a heap more trouble than she had been before.


	4. Love

**Disclaimer: I own nothing really, not even this plot because its all been done before. Please don't sue me.**

**AN: This will be odd. People have asked me what the start is, but I'm not sure I can explain it well enough. Just stick with it and please enjoy. Review if you like **

Love. I watch everything around me and all I can see is the love that is in this world. My friends love me and I them. My mother loved me and so do a lot of people.

It's just like they say, about the twin towers, most of those people on the planes wouldn't have sent out messages of hate or anger. As far as I know, they were all of love, and that has got to mean something. If you think of your loved ones and the ones who love you, things seem a little brighter, because they know who you are and love that person.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**Chapter 4 Love**

"Look guys, I really am fine. Perfect, in fact. Don't worry so much." Hermione was trying in vain to get Harry and Ron to leave. To make for her sudden 'illness' she had lied and for once, it wasn't plausible in the least.

"Hermione- we just," Ron began but looked away and shifted his feet. Hermione sighed and tried to be as Hermione-ish as possible.

"Look I'm fine now guys. Just tried to do a big spell when I wasn't up to par. I sneezed and it went bad. For Christ sake its not like I'm hurt is it?" She said as matter-of-factly as she could, and tried to look like Hermione. It was failing because all she got was disdainful looks and a disgusted snort.

Hermione was and always had been Hermione at this school. She always had the answer and had read all the books she could get her hands on. She was braver, older and wiser than others. Hermione had to always be a step ahead, and put distance while making them come close. To survive, she always had played this game. Now this little thing could ruin her life here, and make them realize that she wasn't like the Hermione they knew at all. That she was in fact, someone else.

"You've been out of it two days Hermione." Harry snapped angrily. "It couldn't have been that taxing to do it." She tensed.

"It was." She stated. "And I don't think I need to explain myself twenty times, considering you said that you were smart." As the boys started to rile up, she smiled to herself.

"FINE!" Ron spat at her and then Harry _had _to have his say.

"For God's sake Hermione, aren't your friends allowed to be concerned anymore?" He demanded, not expecting any answer. Hermione's thin smile was too cold for the role she played.

"I don't know why you were concerned Harry Potter." Hermione said icily. "You haven't been concerned about me before now have you?" Harry clenched his jaw and stormed out. Ron didn't even throw a look Hermione's way before he did the same, but Hermione saw his face, it was full of anguish.

"What the hell is wrong with her?" Harry demanded as he and Ron walked the grounds. "What the hell is she covering up??" Ron shrugged." Doesn't she get that we love her no matter what??"

"The question we should ask," he said instead "is why doesn't she trust us?" Harry agreed.

Hermione was fighting back tears. She hated the fact that they had left. She thought of how they loved her, but the bitter part of her whispered '_they don't_ really_ love you. They love the idea you, and the image you've put forth. They don't care about you, only that false identity.'_

Hermione growled and shook herself; she couldn't afford to think like that. Always had too be on top.

Hermione wished with all her twisted heart, that she hadn't done that spell.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

It was Friday now. Hermione had done all of her homework and that stupid baka's as well.

She'd gotten word to meet him up in the North Tower. It was near the arranged meeting time and Hermione couldn't rid herself of this fear. It felt weird; usually it was pain that turned her guts inside out, this time fear over ruled everything. It wasn't bad, just different.

Hermione glanced at her watch; the time was twelve, half an hour left. She closed her eyes and gave a small whimper. Hermione felt tears threaten to fall. Ron and Harry were still angry at her, and Ginny was busy. No one could help now anyway.

Why did love always have to come up with friends? Why couldn't they hate her? That way when they found out that she had lied all these years, they wouldn't hurt as much.

Hermione felt around in her back pack for a pocket knife, right now she needed it a lot more than she would care to show. The idea that Hermione always needed it was laughable, but true.

Hermione pulled up her skirt and moved so her thigh was in plain sight. Ignoring all the healed scars, Hermione cut into that once soft flesh.

It was amazing. Hermione gasped and felt blood trickle down her leg. Always it amazed her how pain could be so thrilling. Her leg stung and began to throb. The cut this time was deep, almost too deep, but that was the best part of it all. The danger of it: and how it felt afterwards.

The blood went faster as she widened the cut and Hermione just relaxed her tense body. Everything she was stressing about slowly left. The pain of the world was counter-acted by the pain of her leg.

Images flashed past her as she went higher and higher into the world she always came too. As always, it ended to quickly, and she fell down into the real world.

Hermione stopped the blood flow with a flick of her wand, and cleaned up the mess. It was now time to go. Slowly she got up and relived just what she just done. It felt wonderful. Grabbing Malfoy's work, she limped out the portrait door, unaware of a shocked gaze following her every move.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"You're late Hermione." Draco Malfoy sneered as she opened the door. Hermione shrugged and then saw his cronies. She put down the homework and whipped out her wand.

"Obliviate doer." She said. A flash later and they were dumb as doorknobs. They had no idea what had happened in the last day. The saw Malfoy and he waved them away. Both of them shrugged and walked out past Hermione as she turned her and to Malfoy. He smirked as she tried the same.

"Oh no. What is going on?" Draco Malfoy said in a very sarcastic tone. "No my memories of today have…not been erased." And his smirk grew bigger. Hermione felt a shiver down her spine and a old feeling of dread when his grey eyes narrowed.

"You shouldn't have even tried mud blood. For that I think you should pay."


	5. Selfish

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing. I wonder why……**

**AN: Sorry it's been a while. And thank you everyone for all your reviews. It's always nice to read them. So thank you everyone again. Here it is. I hope it'll be long enough for you.**

Someone once called me Selfish. I just laughed at them. Everyone in the entire world is selfish, not only when they are children but also when they grow up.

There is nothing that we don't want. There is nothing we don't do just for ourselves. I have never just helped someone out from the kindness of my heart. There is always a reason behind our actions and they are always our reasons. No one cares about anyone else. Everyone is interested, but they don't care. Everyone is selfish in this world. We do things for no other reason, but for ourselves.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**Chapter 5: Selfish**

"Pay? " Hermione sneered summing up all her Gryffindor courage. "My most favored stupid pureblood, why would I pay you? From what I've heard, you have all the money you want, unless of course that was put away with your ickle daddykins." Hermione's taunts were cut off when he slapped her.

"Watch your tone mud blood." He said icily and stepped back. Hermione held her cheek and felt a trickle of blood. She wiped it off and met his angry eyes.

"You seem to have forgotten I found your little diary and I've seen your spell in the Library." Draco Malfoy sneered down at her. He liked to see her in pain. He wanted her suffering to last long after she left tonight. The thought of the mud blood in pain always made him happy. Aroused even. What could he say; Draco Malfoy lived off other people's pain.

"Well I did your homework." Hermione said and removed her hand from her cheek. "What more do you want me to do? Get on my hands and knees and tell you just how _wonderful_ you really are for making me do this?"

Draco Malfoy smirked at his prey. All week he had been thinking up ways to torture her. He hated her with such a passion any pity he might have had for someone in her position always fled.

"Why don't you just do that Granger?" He drawled and inspected his fingernails. "Kiss my shoes and tell me how wonderful I really am. We'll see where it goes from there."

Hermione's hand shook with rage. Just because she lied didn't mean this ferret faced rat would get the better of her. No; not at all. Instead she did as she was told. Draco smirked and waited to see what she would do. Hermione smirked at him and remained silent.

"Well Granger? Don't you have something to say?" He snarled frustrated.

"No. There is nothing wonderful about this person in front of me." Hermione said simply. "Oh, apart from the fact he has the biggest ego I have ever seen. Bigger even than the famous Harry Potter's." Draco lost it and lashed out. His foot connected with her angelic face.

"SHUT IT!" He screeched and kicked her again, foot getting her stomach. Hermione was winded and couldn't move by herself.

"You think that you are so wonderful Granger." Draco sneered and kept kicking her. "You think you're better than any of us. Don't you?" Draco stopped and picked her up by her hair. She was as light as a feather.

"If you are all that mud blood," He whispered pulling her in closer. Hermione closed her eyes. "Then why do you have all those nasty scars?"

Hermione felt a tear trickle down her face. Again she was at his mercy, and couldn't even defend herself. All the walls she had against this sort of thing came crashing down as that one tear fell. She felt every wound Draco Malfoy had made for once. Her despair came back and she thought not of Malfoy, but of Andrew and her family. Right now all she wanted was the lie back.

Draco watched that single tear until it fell onto the cold stone. He smirked and was glad this was making an impression. The girl thought highly of herself. Too highly to ever think of him as anything more that what he was. She deserved all the pain he was causing her.

"That's right sweet heart." Draco whispered sadistically. "Cry you pathetic heart out, and see who comes to comfort you."

Hermione opened her eyes and looked at him. A real soul searching look.

"And when it all falls away Malfoy," she said softly. Draco leaned in to hear her. "When it has all gone, what will you have? A drunken mother. A pisspoor father; and no friends. The lie is better than reality Draco, but you will never know anything but the cruel life you lead. No friends, no father. No answers. One would think you should give up." Draco snarled and flung her away from him.

"You won't speak to me again without using the term 'Master'. Is that clear?" Draco straightened his robes. Hermione nodded slightly. He frowned. "Pardon?"

"Yes Master." She whispered and curled up into a ball. Draco gave a slight nod.

"Good girl. I'll see you same time next week. The homework's in the corner. Do you better job this time okay?" And with that he strolled out. Hermione had one this time round, but she wouldn't always beat him. This was his game, not hers.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Hermione eventually left the tower. She felt weak and exhausted. She felt like everything had crashed down on her all at once, and the pressure was something she just couldn't bear all by herself.

Walking through the very annoyed portrait she went into what she hoped was an empty common room. It wasn't.

"Hi Hermione." Ginny said gingerly. She was frowning slightly and she put down her book. "How're you?" Hermione groaned inwardly and put on her best false smile. Ginny would hopefully assume since the fight with the boys, that she was upset and ragard because of that.

"I'm just a little tired so you don't mind I'd like to-"

"Hermione wait!" Ginny said softly and patted the seat next to her. Hermione went caustiously over and sat down. Ginny sighed and looked away.

"You're not alright at the moment are you?" She asked softly and Hermione's eyes widened. Why would Ginny of all people ask questions like that? Had her false-ness in the Library that moring taken such a toll that now Ginny of all people didn't trust her??

"You've been distant ever since we started this year Hermione. Please tell me, why can't you trust me?" Ginny continued and Hermione's heart starting to beat again. It ached though. It relly ached.

"I love you like a sister, so why have things changed between us all?" Ginny's voice broke and she put a hand on Hermione's shoulder, finally meeting her eyes. Ginny was crying and Hermione felt a tear fall down. She wanted to trust Ginny with all of it. She would understand.

"I am so sick of the lie Ginny." She whispered and Ginny's teary eyes widened. "I want it to all end now, but it won't." And another tear fell.

"Hermione I-"

"What are you girls doing up? You know its not alright to up at this hour." Ron's voice came from the top of the stairs. Hermione jumped up.

"I'm allowed to be here Ronald. So get your big nose out of my bussiness." Then she turned to Ginny. "G'night Ginny. Sleep well." And she went up the stairs, trying with all heart to pretend that nothing had happened at all today. Nothing at all.


	6. Beauty

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing. I don't even own my own copies of Fruits Basket, so how could I even own Harry Potter?**

**AN: Ok so I haven't updated in a while. I'm not going to make it longer coz of it though…… I can't….my fingers start hurting…lol. Okay I hope you enjoy it.**

Beauty is it everything in this world. This happens to be a mans world, and being beautiful is the only way to survive it. I have to stay like this, in order to be alive. In order to live.

Everyone tells me that my way of living is messed up, that I should stop it. I just laugh at them. No one seems to understand how it really should go. Everyone has a place, and I understand mine. Of course it took my father to explain it too me. He helped a lot with explaining my worth. Yes beauty does rule the world, and I plan to rule.

**Chapter 6: Beauty**

Hermione was walking down to the great hall. It was time for lunch, and even though she didn't feel hungry, she wasn't just going to stop.

When she entered, no one was there yet. So Hermione grabbed a roll and strode out again.

Hermione went to broom closet. It wasn't the best place to go for someone like her, but Hermione had given up on some things. She wanted to go flying, like she used to with Ginny.

Unlocking it she snatched out the broom she always used, and hoped on. Her mind just shut down as she went higher and higher into the cool air. For one moment Hermione wasn't anything but happy. All the pain she was feeling left. All the bitterness just fled. Nothing was left but her. There was no lie to hide herself behind when she was up here. That was also good and bad.

That moment passed and Hermione sped up. She was thinking all about Harry and Ron. Maybe she could trust them. Maybe they wouldn't hate her.

"I suppose I should tell them all about him first." Hermione said to wind that was roaring around her. "But how can I?" And she urged the broom to go faster across the lake, and the wind stung her face.

'_It's simple. Just tell them. Tell them what happened with _him_. Tell them what happened to your real mother. Tell them that you lied, they can help.' _ Hermione knew hearing voices wasn't a god sign, but this voice was trying to help her. She could ignore the fact that she was going nuts right now.

"They'll hate me." She whispered to the voice and slowed down as she went over the forest. "I'll show them my scars, and they will hate me. They will turn me away in disgust."

'_You don't know that.' _The voice said. It was nice and warm the voice. Comforting. '_Just trust them. Go to them for help and support. Tell them about _him_ and tell Dumbledore and everyone about those scars before Malfoy does. Tell Dumbledore about him.'_ And Hermione cut off the voice with a loud "NO!"

"I will not tell Dumbledore anything." She hissed to voice. It had started to fade away once she had shouted.

"And I will not allow anyone to find out." Hermione said. "They will first not believe me, and then when they see them, will be shocked. Next they believe it a curse and send me off to Mungo's, and inform my parents. They will see that it isn't a curse and they will send me home. My stepmother will send me away from home, just like always and I shall spend the rest of my life regretting my trust." And she closed her eyes.

"How would you understand anyway?" She shouted finally to the fading voice. "You're not me! You could never understand my pain!" This time the voice didn't answer her. Hermione turned the broom around and went back to castle.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Hermione!" Harry's voice called out. Hermione turned around. It was now the after noon. Harry and Ron ran to catch up with her.

"Yes," Hermione said heart leaping and plummeting at the same time. "Do you want something?" And they frowned before smiling at her. Harry scuffed his toe and looked a bit remorseful.

"I'm sorry Hermione." He said. Hermione's features softened and she smiled at him.

" I'm sorry too. We over reacted to the whole hospital wing thing. We cared more about the reason than you. I can understand why you got mad at us, but we did care. " Ron said and Hermione hugged both of them.

"I'm glad we could make up guys, I'm not sure what I would do without you." Hermione let her eyes go all soft. Harry ruffled her hair.

"Died I suppose." And then they started to walk off. Hermione hung back a bit a sighed a very small 'I'm sorry too.'

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"It's good to see you again Hermione, how are you?" Draco Malfoy asked as he pressed her against the wall. Hermione glared at him.

"What the fuck do you want?" She sneered. It was Wednesday, and Harry and Ron were her best friends again. Malfoy had cornered her as she had left the library, even though she didn't have to meet him until Friday. Draco Malfoy hit her.

"You forget something my sweet little blade runner, didn't you?" And he watched Hermione's emotions filter across her face. He loved hurting her.

"I hate you, you stupid ferret boy 'master'" Hermione said and then he hit her again. Hermione remembered the other night, and was sure that it would repeat again. When she met his eyes, they were full of sadistic pleasure.

"And I love to torture you." He said and leaned in. Draco knew he shouldn't kiss her, but her lips so plump, that he felt the need to kiss them and see how they tasted.

Hermione's eyes widened and she did nothing for second. Then she came to her senses and pushed him off her, in disgust. Who did this ferret boy think he was? Even if he did know everything about her.

"What the fuck was that 'master'?" Hermione snarled. Draco sighed. They tasted as good as they had looked.

"That you sweet mud blood, was a kiss. I wanted to kiss you." And then Draco did it again. Hermione tried to fight him, but he was much stronger than she would ever be and her wand was out of reach. Eventually he came up for air. He hit her.

"What was that for?" Hermione hissed. Draco Malfoy smirked.

"For not kissing back." And then he did the same thing again. Hermione responded somewhat reluctantly. Draco smirked and stopped.

"Do you know how long I have wanted to do that?" He whispered and began to feel her up. "Do you even know how many people want to do that?" And he kissed her again and Hermione kissed back, trying not to enjoy it, or tense up. "Almost every male in any room notices when Hermione Granger walks in. Half the school is lusting after you and you don't even notice them." And he kissed her neck.

"You're a beautiful little mud blood Hermione." He whispered against her ear. "And I have complete control over you." Hermione shivered slightly and Draco stopped, smirking. "I'll be seeing you soon." And he left.

Hermione didn't leave the alcove for a little while. She held a finger to her lip and sighed, mulling over what he had said and done.

'Was that why Andrew did what he did?' Hermione wondered and walked off.


	7. Power

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Harry Potter is owned by J.k.Rowling and has been for quite some time now.**

**AN: Thank you for all the reviews. Okay so longer than I first thought. Please just read and if you feel kind enough review me! I love the feedback from this and want to hear anything!**

**WARNING! This chapter is rated R for a reason.**

Power happens to be everything. Any one and everyone want power, because if you have any sort of power, you can rule.

Holding something over someone can give you power, and with that power you can bend unsuspecting people to your will. Nobody will ever be able to have everything, at least not without cheating. But in cheating you gain power. I can't stand people who believe that there are other forces at work. Everyone has to do with who has power and who doesn't. No one is evil, no one is good. They just have more or less power than the weak and they call themselves 'good', and deem the others 'evil'. Power is all the world has.

**Chapter 7; Power**

"Hey Ginny." Hermione said and smiled at her friend. Ginny tried to smile through a mouthful food. It didn't work very well and Hermione giggled like 'herself' for the first time in an eternity. She sat down at the table and ate. Neither of the girls talked about anything that wasn't safe. All they said were menial things, like school and assignments. They both weren't ready for anything else.

"So what are you doing today Ginny?" Hermione asked as they stood up. Ginny beamed at her friend.

"Nothing really. You?" Hermione shrugged. They started walking. Ginny seemed quite.

"So is this all a lie to you?" Ginny said after an awkward silence. Hermione stiffened and stopped dead in her tracks. Ginny did too. "Well is it?" She demanded. "Is our friendship just a lie that you made up? Is this whole thing just lies?" Hermione felt a tear trickle down her face.

"Ginny, please…" Hermione whispered. "You don't understand. Just forget about it okay?" And Ginny saw the heartbreak on her face. Somehow she steeled her heart against it.

"HOW CAN I?" She shouted. It was lucky no one was there; otherwise the school would know everything about Hermione.

"You tell me that you are sick of living a lie. You've trusted me with so much over the years. You even told me that your step-mother used to hit you all the time. I told you about all my secrets as well. Why can't we be close again? WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME?"

"I can't say Ginny. I can't tell you about it all. Please just stop it already!" And Hermione held her head in her hands. "I can't stand this!"

"Well you have too Hermione. TRUST ME!" Ginny screeched but Hermione had already fled.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"I hate him! I really hate that stupid cunt!" Hermione swore as she paced the halls late at night. Someone grabbed onto her arm and pulled her into an empty classroom. Hermione repressed a scream.

"You wouldn't be talking about me now would you?" A voice drawled from behind her. Hermione sighed and relaxed her tense muscles.

"Most likely." She said. "I mean you are quite dumb. I hate you. And you're a little cunt so yes…maybe it was you after all." She sneered and he hit her. Hermione fell onto the wall. She spit out the blood that was in her mouth and glared up at the one who had done this too her.

"Sometimes I believe you speak way to much Hermione." Draco Malfoy said looking down at her.

"Fuck you, _Draco_!" She snarled right back standing up again. He smirked and slammed her into the wall, holding her there with his body. Hermione glared at him and Draco just brought his lips down onto hers.

Hermione knew better to fight him by now. When he moved away from her he gave her his best smirk.

"Well done Hermione. I see the mudblood has finally learned her place." He said and slowly he slid his hand up her shirt, looking her right in the eyes as he did so. He cupped her breast even though she was still wearing a bra. Hermione held his gaze and he smirked.

Slowly he moved his hand to her back and undid the clasp expertly. Hermione closed her eyes in defeat and Malfoy began to lift up her shirt. He leaned in and gave her a bruising kiss. Hermione responded and clenched her eyes closed so that she wouldn't think about that.

Slowly and painfully her clothes were taken off her. Malfoy looked at her then and at her legs, where her scars from numerous times were now being showed to the world. Hermione turned her head away form him as he smirked. This was how he controlled her. This was how she got into the mess now again. Unwilling her mind went down that road.

_It was summer. And because of that Andrew had walked her home. Her father was out and the stepmother no where in sight. The house was hers and she fully intended to let her friend in for a drink before he headed back to his house._

_Andrew joked with her. She smiles and laughs along. Everything was light and free. There were no harsh realities. No war. No father or dead mother. It was just her and Andrew having a good family dinner with his parents'._

_They got to the door and stood on the darkened street. She smiled and said he could have a drink before he left if he wanted. She really thought that he was good friend. Kind and loyal. Brave and completely muggle. Completely perfect in her eyes. Andrew agreed._

_She walked in and poured him a drink. Then she said she was going upstairs to put away her shoes. He nodded and she left._

_She smiled dreamily. Normal. What a great word. Andrew was nice and normal._

_She turns around ready to go back to the door and see him off, giving him a goodnight kiss. It will be sweet and later on she will hold onto her pillow and smile at the muggle who gave her such a time on such a beautiful summer night._

_But as she tried to get out of the bedroom, she is blocked. Andrew is there. There is no light in her room so she cannot see his face._

'_Andrew,' she begins 'why are you up here?' When he doesn't answer, she suddenly feels it. The chill that she felt around dark wizards. Insane ones. The chill she got when the basilisk attacked her. Something was wrong. He lifts his head and she begins to back away._

_Suddenly she is pleading. Begging him. Asking what's wrong. There is a gleam she doesn't like. She sees her coat over on the chair. Her wand is there. She makes a dash for it, but Andrew moves and intercepts her. He hits her, and she falls down._

_Now she knows what is wrong. She knows what he is trying to do. But she won't give in without a fight. Not her. Not this witch._

_Again she tries for the wand. Andrew knocks her down and growls at her. He tells her that if she is good, it will all be over soon. Behave and it will be quick. She in turn begins to talk to him. He advancing on her and she backs up, still on her knees. She pleads. He kicks her down. In a second he is on her. She whimpers and struggles. His fist hits the side of her head and she stars. After she is back on earth with all the pain attached, she notices that she is pinned. She is trapped underneath the 'normal' muggle boy. She opens her mouth to scream but a piece of cloth is shoved in as a gag. He hits her and then rips off her shirt._

_His eyes look her over and he rips every other bit of clothing off as well. Once that is down he is satisfied. She is pinned down, gagged and now he is working on the tying up part. She struggles and whimpers trying to get the gag out. He hits her hard and she blacks out. But pain brings her back and that exit is torn away from her._

_He is rough and she feels tears fall down her cheeks. He keeps going, slamming into her and grunting. She hears the slap of his flesh against hers and shuts her eyes tight. But she can still hear it. Finally after him whispering to her vulgar things over and over he grunts and shakes a little. He is done. Done with her._

_He gets up and smirks. She lies there and stares at him, fearful. He speaks to her. Tells her that she better keep her trap shut. Her parents won't care and she'll be sent away if she says something. She nods and he leaves._

All of a sudden Hermione comes back and shoves him off. NO! She can't do this. Not again. She can't be this weak. Her lips were swollen now and he looked as if he would kill her.

"I can't." She whispers suddenly fearful again. Draco Malfoy blinks and moves back. "I won't do this again!" Hermione says more forcefully. She whips out her wand and points it at his throat. He freezes. Hermione picked up her clothes and carefully put them on, still wand to his throat.

"I thought you were fucked up before Granger," Malfoy began "but I know now that you are. Somebody raped you didn't they little miss priss? They got you good. You are more fucked than anyone I know, and that includes my father." He paused and looked her in the eyes.

"Tell me _Hermione,_" Her name he purred and she shivered at the feeling behind it. She wanted to scream. Tell him not to finish, but she needed to hear it so desperately it ached. If he said it, then finally it was true. A real reason. "Who will want you now? You would want a piece of used trash. At home nobody cares for you, you may as well be dead." She shook her head.

_No!_ She screamed in her head. _Stop! I don't want to hear! Stop it!. _He didn't.

"But you see I am the only one who is here. I am the one who is about to fuck your brains out. I am the only one who will stop for five seconds and get you to stop killing yourself. I am the reason you live now, and I will kill you very soon. You disgusting morbid _mudblood_." He stopped to capture her lips in a bruising kiss. She whimpered again but gave in a little. Images of that night came back and she let real sobs lose.

Draco Malfoy backed away slowly and stared at her. He had a sneer on his face, but lust was clearly everywhere else.

"Just go you fucked up whore. I will deal with you when you are not so pathetic." And yet Hermione knew this was the one act of kindness she had ever truly received from him. Hermione nodded, quickly dressed forgoing a bra. She grabbed her wand and fled the awful scene. If she had bothered to turn around she would have seen Draco Malfoy's figure standing in the doorway, something akin to pity in his eyes.

**AN: hey guys…please review and there is one more chapter left. I hope you still read this!**


End file.
